HOW TO STOP BLAMING AND START BEING.

Uncategorized Oct 11, 2020

This topic has been coming up a lot in my life lately, all around our identity and what means for our results. 

In the Manifestation Experiment (my one year program with a group of amazing members) I have challenged them from day one to get super clear on how their 2.0 version thinks, acts, believes, and feels. 

The entire goal of this Experiment is to spend 1 year fully stepping into this version of you with resolute determination to shift all previous thought patterns and behaviours that are not in alignment with your desires.

This is the secret behind manifestation, is that you need to BE the version of you that is already living the dream reality. 

We have this whole "what came first the chicken or the egg" syndrome happening with our lives; but with our thoughts/vs circumstances.

We believe our thoughts are a reflection of our circumstances. 
This is the worst belief we can have, because if our circumstances aren't perfect, then we immediately default into a powerless victim and the cycle continues to perpetuate itself.

What needs to happen in order to create whatever you desire in life, is to first accept and know that your thoughts are not a reflection of your circumstances, your thoughts are creating your circumstances.

So in the case of what came first- it's the thoughts every time. But in our society of complete distractedness all the time and lack of mindfulness, it can be very hard to grasp this concept. 

Our thoughts are the filter with which we view the world, and that filter is all powerful. It creates a lens of only seeing what we focus on; and our focus is typically far from positive. 

We think 50-60,000 thoughts per day, and 95% of them are the same, and a whopping 80% of them are negative. Add in the law of attraction, what you focus on is expanding, you'll see how things can quickly spiral to feeling that the whole world is against you. 

No wonder so many of us feel completely trapped by our circumstances and can't see a different way of life, because the cycle just keeps going round and round every single day.

Now, let's add it to the fact that as humans- we don't really love accepting responsibility. If it were truly as easy as changing our thoughts to change our reality (and it is) then you have turn around all that blame, victimhood, and powerlessness onto yourself, in order to change. 

In order to start creating a new reality, you have to accept that you created the old one- and that is beyond many of our abilities to transcend.

Start looking around you and watching how people talk carefully. Complaining  and commiserating is one of the biggest bonding forms of conversation there is. If we accepted 100% responsibility for everything ourselves- there would be zero need for complaining, gossiping, feeling sorry for ourselves, lack, or blaming. 

What the heck would humans talk about?

Not to mention in our society, that going against the norm is dangerous indeed. You start sparkling with positivity and taking action on your desires, and it seems that all you get in return is backlash and blame for changing who you are. Now that you aren't participating in the commiserating- you've officially become someone that highlights everyone else's negativity- and nobody likes that. 

We love to hold onto our stories of pain. We would way rather, 100x over, explain away all the external reasons why we are the way we are, rather than bear the responsibility of changing ourselves.

But here's the thing. If you continue to try and change the circumstances around you, or the people around you to make YOU happy- you will forever be a victim to your circumstances (not to mention it's impossible).

You know what's the biggest paradox of them all in our society? When person A calls person B selfish for focusing on themselves instead of doing what person A wants. Isn't that wild? "You are selfish because you aren't making ME happy." 

How did we start getting this so backwards?

So, where do we go from here? The first step is to take full responsibility for our entire lives, every little piece, no exceptions.

If you are already having those thoughts come up in response that sound like "but it's been so hard for me, everything is against me, you don't understand how it's been for me"

I would challenge you with this: Would you rather be RIGHT and continue perpetuating the circumstances you are in by continuously fighting for your limitations?

Or would you rather be happy and free by deciding that you, and only you, can decide to start changing your thoughts and then start changing your reality.

It's the only way. We must let go of the old stories and bullshit excuses that have created our current reality.

This reality is temporary- and the sooner you accept that you have all the power in the world to create whatever it is you desire; you'll stop feeling like a victim and you'll start feeling like the true, limitless being you are with the capacity to be anything you want. 

I hope you found this post empowering, because this concept was life changing for me after I let go of my victimhood. And obviously, it still shows up and I'm always working at it and I'm always trying to turn every situation back to myself and think "how did I create this?" and "what do I want to create instead?" and let go of my human need to be right, and put my ego aside, and realize I'd rather be free than right; and when we can truly realize this- we can start feeling powerful as fuck and step into the lives we truly desire.

Love, Tara

 

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